I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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