We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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