the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
