Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he told me I talked like a deaf person
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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