i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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