a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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