I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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