Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This is not my ceiling
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
