i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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