i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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