guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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