is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
