Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
