So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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