i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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