I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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