you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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