Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
