My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
