broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
