Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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