all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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