I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
