it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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