Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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