So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
