Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
