pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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