I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
