its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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