why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
