Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
