oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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