if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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