It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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