i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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