What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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