Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
