I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
