If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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