I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
