My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
honey bunches of taint.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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