i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize