thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
