You made me cry and you don't even care
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
