I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
be right there i have to get my cape
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
And then he peed in my hair
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