He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
