just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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