So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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