She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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