There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
