so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
