Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
