Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
