My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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