Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
