I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
