There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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