3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
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