yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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